Anatomy Ultrasound

On Thursday we had our long awaited anatomy scan. I hadn't seen the babies or doctor in a few weeks so was a little nervous about it all. Luckily, my doppler and growing belly both assured me the babies were growing away. 

For a while W said he didn't want to find out what we were having. Ever since I tried to take a peek around 15 weeks I've wanted to know. It's hard to picture your family in the future without a clue as to who is going to be in it. Having twins makes it even more overwhelming when you don't know what is coming. 

Our appointment was at 2:00 and the tech was prompt in getting us in. She first asked if we wanted to find out and we said we weren't sure. She said that we had plenty of time to think about it and started the scan. 

She first looked at baby A. She measured bones, looked and the heart, measured the CRL (crown-rump length), measured the head, and a bunch of other stuff. The baby was moving around quite a bit but she was able to get the measurements. The heartbeat was in the upper 150's. As she measured and looked at things she checked off little boxes on another screen. She checked normal for everything and told us the baby looked great. 

She then moved on to baby B. Once again our mover and shaker, this baby made it a little more difficult to get good measurements. It measured slightly bigger and had moved back "upstairs" rather than "next door" to its sibling. It was feisty and was pushing and kicking the other baby. They looked so close together. Once again, the heartbeat was in the 150's and every box was checked as normal. 

I asked about 4D and the tech switched over. Baby A would only show the back of its head but baby B actually cooperated. There are some pretty neat pictures from that. We got a ton of pictures!

So at the end the tech asked again if we wanted to know. I looked at W and I could tell he he was holding strong, but he said it wasn't up to him. Earlier in the week I had pulled the "it's my body" card and he had no argument with that one. The curiosity had started to get to me. 

I asked the tech if she got a good view and had an idea. She said she did. I then asked if they were the same or different sexes and she told they were the same. She looked at me and said, "Are we going to play 20 questions or just find out?" As soon as I knew they were the same sexes I had to know. She then told us we were going to have 2 little GIRLS!!! I was so shocked. I had been convinced it was 2 boys so couldn't believe it. She went and took another look and confirmed that there were no little penises and that there were in fact 2 little girls. I looked at W with a beaming smile and his face was complete disbelief. 

The tech send me to the bathroom me for a urine sample while she organized and cut up the photos for us. As I sat on the toilet smiling I almost forgot about peeing in the cup. 

After giving us the photos we were sent into the waiting room to wait to see the doctor. W and I smiled and were just so surprised about our girls. 

Eventually we were called back in. The nurse sent W to the exam room while she took my blood pressure and weight. I was up 3 pounds from the last time I was there and my blood pressure was great. She asked if we knew we were having twins before today and I said we did. Then she asked about the genders and I'm sure could sense my excitement. Once done I headed down to the room to wait with W. The nurse poked her head in the room and said to W, "Congratulations on your daughters!" His face was priceless. 

The doctor came in and measured my uterus. I once again measured 6 weeks ahead and was 24 weeks. He pulled out the doppler and listened to their heartbeats and answered a few of my questions. Everything was easy and done with quickly. He said he wanted to see me back in 3 weeks so we scheduled an appointment at the front desk and headed on our way. 

From there we headed over to my friend T's hospital room to meet up Toni and Skype with our other fertility buddy. When I told them the room erupted with excitement and it was such a great moment. Hugs all around and huge smiles from everyone!

  I insisted after leaving the hospital that we go to the mall. We did a lot of browsing at various stores but didn't buy anything since all of the clothes are so summery. W said he had a feeling the price of having these babies just exponentially increased and I agreed. I was so excited to be able to go to the girls side of the store and look at all of the adorable items. Everything was just so cute!

Since Thursday we have been absorbing the news. I'm really glad we found out because it really changes my thinking. I was sure I was going to have at least 1 boy and had been thinking that way. Things change when you know who is growing inside of you. I think W is still a little disappointed that we found out, but he said he is excited about having 2 girls. When he said something last night about taking care of his 3 girls it made my heart melt. 

We also did Facetime with my Dad and step-mom last night. Since there are all boys everywhere in that part of the family they were super excited. My step-mom pumped her fist and screamed out in excitement and my Dads excitement could be heard in the background. My sister is so excited to be able to buy cute little girly stuff since she has a little boy. Tonight we are telling my MiL at her birthday dinner and she is going to lose it. W joked that she should bring an extra pair of underwear. In addition to the present we already got her we are wrapping up two little pairs of socks and marking the boxes baby A and baby B and letting her pick which one she wants to open first. She is going to be so excited. Once again, there are all boys on that part of the family. We will also Skype tonight with my Mom and step-dad who are in Costa Rica. I can't wait to see my mom's reaction. I know she was hoping for at least 1 girl. In that part of the family there are also mostly boys. 

We are still planning to do the nursery pretty neutral. I don't want everything to be super girly. Maybe that will change in time but for now I don't want to be surrounded in pink. 

All in all, I couldn't be happier that we have 2 healthy baby girls on the way. I can't wait to meet them this fall. 

Updates on T

Last Thursday night I went and visited my friend T. I've been meaning to update, but I've just been so busy. 

She's still at the hospital where we will deliver. She's on the 8th floor, labor and delivery. When I got to the correct floor of the hospital with Indian food for dinner in tow I asked as the nurses station for her. They told me to go down the hallway, through the double doors, and to room number was 4. 

As I approached the double doors my heart sank and I suddenly felt anxious. In huge letters above the door it read "High Risk Obstetrics". I tried not to picture myself behind these doors but couldn't push that image away. 

T looked pretty good. She was pale (from losing blood and being anemic) but in great spirits. Her in-laws were there when we arrived as was our other fertility buddy, Toni. Toni has a three and a half-month old little guy who was conceived with IVF. 

Her in-laws stayed for a bit and we all chatted. I guess they didn't know about T doing IVF and when they were asking me about whether I was pregnant with fraternal or identical twins I said we had transferred two embryos, so it was pretty likely they were fraternal. Her MiL made an interesting face and shut right up. After she left I asked T if she knew they had done IVF and she said no. She joked they were probably starting to connect the dots though. Whoops! Toni had also made some comments on how it was difficult for her to get pregnant, etc. 

After a short while her in-laws left and it was the three of us. We hung out and chatted. Toni had to leave at 9:15 to pick up her brother at the train station as he was coming into town. 

From there it was just me and T in her super fancy hospital room. I stayed until 10:15. The nurses were great and came in to do some vitals at some point. They hooked her up to a fetal doppler and I got to hear her baby's strong little heart beating away. 

T said she hadn't had any more bleeding but described what she had woken up to early Thursday morning. She said she got up to pee and felt a gush. When she looked down there was blood all down both of her legs and on her feet. She said it looked like a murder scene. It sounded so scary!

She said she had had contractions Thursday morning and they gave her something to stop them. They weren't sure if the bleeding was causing the contractions or if the contractions were causing the bleeding. She said they were going to keep her in the hospital for about a week and observe and monitor her. Another week in the hospital gets her to 24 weeks. If the bleeding continues or her condition worsens, they talked about having to deliver the baby. 

Last night she texted me to tell me she was receiving a betamethasone steroid shot to help mature the baby's lungs. When I researched it a little it freaked me out. It said it was most effective if given within a week of delivery. Upon a little more reading I did find that it was often just used as a precautionary step. They will give another shot 24 hours after the first. They told her this is something they cannot repeat during her pregnancy. 

This afternoon I texted her to see how she was doing. She said she had some bad cramping this morning and they put her on IV fluids and medications to stop her contractions before any bleeding started. 

I'm so worried about T and her little baby. They are talking about releasing her but want her to stay close. They mentioned the Ronald McDonald house locally and also asked about her having friends or family. I would offer my house but it's not that close. I just hope they keep her in the hospital where she is safest and most closely monitored. 

It's so incredibly scary. It's not at all about me, but it has me feeling so scared and anxious for my pregnancy and babies. I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow and it just feels so far away from that viability point at 24 weeks. I've shed more than a few tears when talking about how scared it makes me to W. I want to be there for her and be a good friend because I know she would do the same for me. At the same time the whole thing touches so close to home and scares the crap out of me. 

I've been using my doppler more. This may be the longest stretch I have gone without an appointment and I'm anxious. I'm so grateful our anatomy scan is this Thursday and that we'll get to see our little babies. The thought of either of us losing our babies or having complications is terrifying. I feel so guilty making this about me at all, but I can't help but put myself in her shoes. So scary!!

I'll update if anything changes, but please keep T and her little ones in your thoughts and prayers. 

Positive Thoughts for a Friend

My good friend T is 6 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy. She conceived on her first IVF cycle initially with twins, but one didn't continue to develop past 7 weeks. 

At her anatomy scan (I think around 18 weeks) she was diagnosed with complete placenta previa. She hadn't had any symptoms or issues until last Thursday after yoga. 

She texted our group of "fertility buddies" as we call ourselves late Thursday night to say she was going to the hospital because she had a lot of bleeding on her drive home. T lives about an hour and a half north. 

They released her shortly after and she had a follow-up appointment scheduled for Monday. They told her if she had any more bleeding incidents she would be admitted for hospital bedrest. On Monday her ob told her then that her placenta had moved slightly but was still considered full placenta previa. 

Yesterday, T texted us in the morning to tell us she was being admitted to her local hospital. She is 23 weeks pregnant. By the afternoon they had transferred her to the hospital where we plan to deliver at that has the highest level NICU. 

Last we heard she was waiting for approval to eat or drink late last night since she hadn't been allowed anything. She had been given a shot to stop her contractions.

I plan to visit her this afternoon/evening. She has mind on my mind and hopefully some other people can send some positive thoughts or prayers her way. 

Lucky 17

In second grade I decided I needed a lucky number. When we all got a number based on our alphabetical order in the class, I was given 17. From that day on I decided that 17 was going to be my lucky number.  I'm not sure what this means for my 17th week of pregnancy (or is it actually my 18th week?), but I'm happy to report I hit 17 weeks yesterday. 

The weather has been so unbelievably nice. It feels like we skipped spring and jumped right into summer. Unfortunately, the nice weather is going to be leaving soon, but that's not to say I didn't get my first sunburn of the season this past weekend. 

Babies- The babies are about 5 inches each this week. They have mastered simple reflexes such as swallowing, sucking, and blinking. W and I were debating this week and whether they actually open their eyes or not, but I guess the fact that they are blinking means they do. They are also starting to form a little fat. Their skeletons are changing from soft cartilage to bone and their umbilical cords are getting stronger and thicker. 

Weight Gain- When I went to the perinatologist last Wednesday I had lost 2.5 of the 4 pounds I had gained. I also think their scale may have been friendlier as it was digital instead of a regular scale. I feel like I've probably gained more since my belly is getting bigger but I won't know until my next appointment. I'm trying not to stress it too much. 

Belly/Maternity Clothes- I don't think this is changing much these days. I'm in all maternity clothes and my belly is getting bigger and bigger. Big surprise, huh? I think I'm looking more pregnant than chubby now, but strangers certainly haven't asked yet. 

Cravings- Since I'm no longer having nausea and aversions I'll leave that out. I still crave seafood more than I am eating it. I've been eating much healthier the past few weeks and feel like I don't crave junk as much when I don't have it. That's not to say that the slurpee I had from 7-11 last week wasn't absolutely delicious. I also found some pasteurized feta cheese and we've had 2 meals with feta since Saturday. 

Symptoms- The heartburn still comes and goes but is mostly pretty good. The round ligament pain is so much better since seeing the chiropractor. I starting getting pain in my upper abdominal muscles the past few days near the muscle attachment sites to my ribs. I think I need to stop getting up from lying flat on my back. It's time to roll onto my side before trying to get up out of bed. The chiropractor told me to lightly massage the attachment sites to help with the pain. I'm finally feeling better from my first cold. I ended up not working Friday morning since I felt so crappy. Unfortunately, I shared my sickness with W. 

Sleep- I'm still sleeping great at night. My energy really isn't that great overall though. I've been napping most afternoons after work. I had some terrible dreams last night, but overall there have been fewer of those. 

Mood- Still emotional but not as bad. I haven't cried much this week but I'm sure I'm perfectly capable given the right opportunity. I'm feeling a little stressed with work lately since I have a billion reports to write in a short time frame. All I can handle is one per night (since they are about 5 pages each). I can't wait to be done with them!

Meds- The only thing that has changed is I got a new prenatal vitamin today. The perinatologist gave the ok for me to continue with all of my same meds. He said I was wearing my "belt and suspenders" when he referred to taking baby aspirin and Lovenox. I think this is part of why my ob referred me to him. She wanted to be sure I was on the right medications. 

Memorable moments- Feeling movement!!

Spending the afternoon at the dog park and seeing my clingy dog be Mr. Independent while our other dog "protected" me from all the other dogs. She would get between me and them every time. 

Going to the perinatologist and meeting with the genetic counselor. In all honesty, it was super boring and repetitive, but nice to get validation that we are doing everything right. Sadly, there was no ultrasound. We were both so disappointed. 

My first and second visits to the chiropractor. I feel a huge difference already. 

Upcoming- Anatomy scan on the 16th.

Possibly visiting my sister and nephew this weekend.

Celebrating mother's day for the first time. 

Firsts

I'm sure this pregnancy and then becoming a mommy will mean plenty of firsts for me. The past few days mark a big one though. 

We have movement! I think I had been feeling it for a little bit but was expecting something different. I was expecting something to feel like "flutters" as everyone else described it. Honestly, it really wasn't as subtle as I was expecting it to be. To me it feels more like a little cramp or nudge in one spot. Since then I've been feeling lots of movement. There is definitely movement in two distinct spots. 

This may be TMI, but the other night when I was peeing it felt like Baby A decided to kick my bladder at the same time. I've never experienced any pain during urination, but this time there was. I haven't had it again so I'm assuming that's what it was. Thanks little one, that was a hoot!

Baby A is tucked down super low in the middle and Baby B is off to my right side, also pretty low. Most times I feel one moving at a time but I few times I've felt it in both spots at the same time. It's going to get crazy in there!

It's absolutely amazing to feel them wiggling around. They move a lot when I'm still (like lying in bed or on the couch). I just love them so much! Feeling them move makes it so much more real. 

I also saw a chiropractor last Thursday for my round ligament pain. I found her at the baby expo and won an initial visit. She specializes in pregnancy. She took a complete history and we chatted for a bit. To be honest, I didn't love the way she presented some information. She's also a nutritionist. She didn't think the prenatal vitamin I took was any good, she though I was on a lot of medications, she didn't like Tums for heartburn, etc. She made a comment at one point about how easily and quickly she and her husband got pregnant. I just don't think she understood infertility and the things we will do to have a baby when it's not easy. Despite the not so great presentation of some information, I felt amazing after. I have felt really minimal round ligament pain since the adjustment. It's so much better than the constant pain I was getting. I'm going back again tomorrow and hoping there will be less talking and more adjusting this time. It's all worth it to get rid of that constant pain I was having. It helped a lot. 

Otherwise, things are great. W did a lot of yard work this weekend while I kept him company (aka watched). Things are looking really great outside the house.

I've also been crafting mobiles for the cribs out of felt. I will definitely post a picture when they are done. We picked our theme/bedding for the nursery and they go with that. I found one like it on Etsy for $130 and got the idea that way. It's a lot of work but I enjoy doing it. 

We went to Ithaca Sunday for a little bit and found the newborn diapers we have been buying used. I haven't seen them used anywhere yet so it was pretty exciting. I'm fine with buying used ones, especially when they look brand new. All our babies are going to do is poop in them anyway. We got 5 diapers for $75. It sure beats the $18.95 we have been paying for each one. We also brought the dogs to the dog park and went for a walk. It was a wonderful day. 

I love how happy we are. It really feels amazing to be in this place after all the sadness we experienced leading up to this point. W looks at me all the time and just smiles. We are just so grateful to finally be here. 

16 Weeks!

It really feels like time is starting to fly by. The weather has been beautiful, spring has sprung, and so has my belly. I'm embracing this pregnancy so much more and we've told a lot of people in the past week or so. It started with my work and branched out to so many people so quickly. I didn't realize how much fun it was going to be to tell people. I love the look or reaction I get when I tell people it's twins. It's totally priceless. 

Unfortunately, I had an unexpected trip to the ob a week ago Friday. I got a call that morning from the neurologist saying they had a cancellation and could see me in a few hours. I wasn't sure whether to take the appointment or not and called my ob's office to see if it was still recommended since my headaches were better. I decided to take it because it wouldn't hurt, but by the time I got back to them they had filled it. My ob's office called again to follow-up and I happened to mention some pain I was having around my belly. I've had a TON of round ligament pain recently and it wasn't the same. It felt different and wasn't in the same spot. So, the nurse recommended I come in to be seen to make sure everything was ok. I spoke with my ob, gave a urine sample to check for a UTI, and she did a quick ultrasound to check for heartbeats. Both babies were wiggling away and their heartbeats were great. I then mentioned my fears about my cervix and asked if she had checked in on ultrasound. I've 3 D&C's and worry that will compromise my cervix some. I asked her and she said she could check it or send me to the hospital for a more detailed ultrasound since she didn't trust her measurements using the vaginal probe. I told her whatever she recommended and she suggested the second ultrasound. No complains about 2 ultrasounds in one day, that's for sure. At the hospital my cervix was long and closed and the tech was great. I asked her to take a peek for genders since W wasn't with me but neither baby cooperated. I guess it's a sign I should stick to what we decided. Later that afternoon my ob called to tell me everything looked great. 

I returned this past Friday with my MiL since W couldn't make it. We got another ultrasound to check heartbeats (once again, no complaints there). Both babies were great but the scale made me nervous by reporting that I had gained 4 pounds in one week, putting me up about 8 pounds total. I'm hoping to not gain that much in another week for a while! 

Babies- The babies are about 4.5 inches this week. Their movements are becoming more controlled and their legs are more developed. Their heads are more erect (which I can actually see as a progression in ultrasound pictures) and they are developing their hairlines. They are even growing tiny toenails. 

Weight Gain- At my appointment a week ago Friday I was up 2 pounds. Last week I was up another 4! I guess I'm making up for the lack of weight gain in my first trimester. I hope it slows down a little bit. 

Belly/Maternity Clothes- I made the switch to all maternity pants last week. I joked to my sister that she did something to me over the weekend because the following week nothing fit. I bought a few more maternity shirts and started wearing them this week. I had to tell people I was pregnant before I started wearing tighter fitting shirts. My belly popped out last week and continues to grow. I know it's not really that big, but it feels a lot bigger to me.

Feeling brave enough to add a belly picture. 

Nausea/Aversions/Cravings- The nausea is SO MUCH better. Last week I stayed out late for dinner with friends and felt horrible the next day. It was like the first trimester all over again. The aversions are pretty much gone as well. I haven't had any huge cravings, but the only thing that has really "hit the spot" recently has been cheeseburgers. So delicious!

Symptoms- The heartburn has been much better this week so I'll take it. The round ligament pain has been increasing and is quite frequent. I went to a prenatal yoga class this past weekend and asked about yoga poses to help. Unfortunately, her best advice was a chiropractor or support belt. Luckily, I won an initial visit with a local chiropractor at the Baby Expo and had an appointment scheduled. I'm really looking forward to it as her speciality is pregnancy. A few women at the yoga class knew her and went to her. My energy ebbs and flows but the past few days I've been exhausted. We watched our friend's 3 month old on Sunday and I was just so tired all day. When I woke up this morning with a sore throat and stuffed up nose I realized why I was so tired. The sore throat still hurts but I'm hoping it gets better soon. I napped for 2 hours the past 2 days. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good though. No huge complains which is great. 

Sleep- Like I said I've been feeling more tired lately. I think it's because I'm fighting something off. I finally received my pregnancy pillow and it's my new best bud in bed. I love it! It makes sleep so much better! It's a little big to rotate with in bed so I leave it on one side mainly. It really is fantastic. I can't recommend one highly enough. Still sleeping really well but the bad dreams are back. W said it's likely because I'm feeling a little anxious about telling everyone our news. 

Mood- Feeling super emotional these days. My sister often sends me pictures of my little nephew and last weekend I started crying when I saw a picture. I really wish I lived closer to her and could spend more time with him. He also spits up a lot and I worry about him. I just love that little guy so much. I can't imagine how much I'm going to love these little ones once they get here. I'm not as moody, just ready to cry on the drop of a dime. 

Meds- Nothing has changed. My ob gladly send refills to the pharmacy for Metformin and Lovenox but was hesitant about Foltanx. She is waiting to hear what the perinatologist says before writing the script. 

Memorable Moments- Getting our first bunch of newborn cloth diapers, they are SO CUTE! We started with 10 in varying colors. 

Telling work and so many other people our big news. I'm still telling the families I work with this week. Actually enjoying telling people!

Making to move to all maternity pants practically overnight. Seeing my belly get bigger and bigger and loving it!

Seeing the babies on ultrasound multiples times. They have moved from being on top of each other to being next to each other and Baby A isn't happy about it. It was kicking its sibling in the head! They are really looking like babies now. Picture can be found here.

Installing a ceiling fan in the nursery, painting the ceiling, and moving everything out of the room. 

Attending the Baby Expo and winning a free chiropractic visit. Going to my first prenatal yoga class.

Spending time with my sister and nephew and seeing his little smiles in person. 

Upcoming- First visit with the perinatal center tomorrow. I'm feeling a little anxious about it but W will be there so that's great. We have to meet with a genetic counselor so I'm curious what that will entail. I think W will get to see the babies for the first time in quite a few weeks. I'm just spoiled. 

Our anatomy scan is scheduled for May 16th. Hopefully we can stay strong and not find out the genders. 

Prenatal yoga again on Thursday night. I really enjoyed going and need to actually going to a class to do it. We bought a DVD for at home but it still hasn't been opened. Being at a class is just so much more enjoyable to me. 

Join the Movement

This week marks National Infertility Awareness Week. It's not something I can just let pass by without recognizing. Infertility is the hardest thing I've ever faced. Its tested me in ways I had no idea was possible and showed me things about myself I may never have realized otherwise. It showed me how important it is to be a strong advocate for yourself. It's revealed to me my deep tenacity and persistence. 

W and I started trying to get pregnant about 8 months after we got married in October of 2009. I wanted to try sooner but there was no convincing him otherwise. We started trying in June and 2 months later we were sitting face-to-face with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). After a diagnosis of PCOS, the loss of my left fallopian tube, a devastating miscarriage at 8 weeks, 2 IUI's, 2 chemical pregnancies, 5 fresh IVF cycles, 19 embryos, 2 RE's, 1 Reproductive Immunologist, and  2 1/2 years of treatments, we finally found out we were pregnant with twins. It's been a crazy ride, but already it all feels worth it. It made me a stronger person and cemented my marriage in ways I thought was only possible after 30 years of marriage. 

I'm not Facebook public about our struggles, but I've recently reached out to a few people individually, and that is a huge step for me. 

W works with a girl named Meghan who got married a few months before us. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant since that time. I know she's been pregnant more than once, only to lose those pregnancies. When I was also struggling I hinted towards our struggles to her a few times, but was too afraid to really reach out. Once we started talking about telling our different co-workers about our pregnancy W began worrying about telling her. 

One day recently we were walking the dogs and decided to walk a little further to her house to tell her the news. We wanted to tell her individually so that she could process the information without others around her. I know how hard it can be to hear a pregnancy announcement with other people around who don't understand. I really wanted to be sensitive to her feelings because I've been there so many times before. 

We also told her that we struggled for a long time and used fertility treatments to get pregnant. I offered my knowledge and anything else to her in case she wanted. She didn't say much at the time but has definitely reached out to W multiple times since then. We are planning to have dinner with them sometime in order to share our story. I know it's not a huge thing, but I would love to help her if possible. I started on this journey feeling so alone and have since felt like I'm in good company. I'd love her to feel that way too. 

I also received a congratulatory Facebook message from my cousin this past week. For one of our first trips to see Dr. Br.averman we stayed on her incredibly uncomfortable pull-out couch in NYC. I know her husband had a variocele repair surgery last year and W pointed out the ovulation tests to me that were in her bathroom. She seemed really casual about trying to get pregnant, but I know how easy it is to play it off to others. It's not that casual when you are having surgery to help or using ovulation tests. 

I responded to her message and said that we really struggled to get pregnant and finally found an amazing doctor near her. I told her I was happy to share everything if she ever wanted to chat. She responded that she is going to Thailand this summer and they weren't going to worry about things until after that, but would love to pick my brain about things. She said she would probably be calling me soon. 

I know these aren't giant steps for others, but they are for me. I'm very personal and really had difficulty sharing my story with others while we were making every effort to get pregnant. I was afraid of the looks of sadness and didn't want other people's sympathy. Maybe I was crazy in feeling this way, but my experience of telling a few people close to me almost always resulted in that reaction. It really scared me off from reaching out and telling others. 

I'm opening up and starting to share what we went through with people who aren't super close to me. I really want to help others. I want them to know that they aren't alone. Finding friends who were also struggling with infertility was so huge for me. It's great to still have these people in my life because they best understand pregnancy after infertility. I really don't know what this journey would have been like without them. 

Blogging has also been huge for me. There are so many people that I watched struggle and then become parents. It was a huge inspiration for me to know that if it happened for others, it could happen to me. I appreciate and love each and every comment and positive note people leave me on my blog. 

My blog started as a way for me to vent and get things off my chest. I never thought I would connect with so many others going through many of the same struggles. I know there are people who haven't reached their goals and I really try to continue to support them as much as I can. I think about them often and hope they are successful. 

So, I'm evolving in my thoughts and actions as my journey advances. None of us should have to feel as alone as I did when I first found out pregnancy was going to be so difficult to achieve. I'm trying to connect with others and hoping to make a difference, however small it ends up being. No matter what, infertility will always be a part of who I am. 

http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/ 

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html